


For Want of a Heart

by Lucidity4fun



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 19:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19410214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidity4fun/pseuds/Lucidity4fun
Summary: Hinata, a sweet, shy girl completely unsuitable for the ninja life, is searching for the strength to meet the expectations of the people she loves, but more importantly her own. Naruto, a wild, reckless boy completely unprepared for the trials to come, is dashing head first into the ocean of unknown to realize his dream, ready to fight anyone in his way. This is their story as they face the ordeals of the ninja life, figure out their true desires, and learn to change themselves for the better.





	For Want of a Heart

“No… No! Sensei!!” Hinata cried as she scrambled towards her team, struggling to keep her footing. The stench was horrible. Her legs were shaking and she was bleeding profusely from the gashed wound on her head. Smoke and dust filled her surroundings, blurring everything around her.

“S-sensei! Kiba-kun! Shino…” she squealed. Her sensei, her lovely sensei, who was also her caretaker, looked so serene even with all the blood on her face. They were all lying motionless on the scorched ground. They were – she couldn’t bear to look at the state they were in. She dropped to the ground and gagged. _Why was this happening,_ she sniffed. They were all on their way to a regular escort mission when the attack happened. It was so sudden.

She had never been more terrified than she was at seeing the gigantic fox looking at them with all the ferociousness and savagery of the demon it was. Its vile chakra still shrouded them in its miserable undercurrent, carrying the promise of devastation. “Byakugan!” she let out and was bestowed with the panoramic view of her surroundings. Everything, every tree, every rock, every pathway around them was demolished. She could still see the traces of the dark red chakra. Her heart thundered. The chakra was intensifying.

 _No!_ “Sensei! Sensei! Wake up sensei!” she cried to no avail.

She limped back to the supplies that lied scattered all over by the blast. It was obligatory for a team to carry a medicine kit on their missions. She forced her hands to obey through the searing pain as she rummaged through band-aids, gauze dressings, safety pins, tweezers, gloves, smoke-masks – there, she snatched the case containing the emergency pills. She lumbered up to her teammates, hoping against hope that everything would be alright, that she would find the right pills, that she would be able to administer them properly, that they’d wake up before the fox returns. She stifled the scream bubbling up within her from the rage and all the anxiety she was feeling.

The demon-fox was still out of her sights when the roar reached her ears, knocking her down. Breathing heavily, she scrambled back to her feet. _Blue pills! Yes!_ This was a life or death situation. _Water! I need water!_ She looked around, ignoring the pangs of agony on each movement she made, accentuated by the sight of her teammates’ bodies. Her heart lurched when she found none. _What was the procedure to administer these pills in such situations?_

A muffled scream escaped her when the demon-fox entered her byakugan induced stream of vision. She felt it looking straight at her.

 _Noooo._ The hopelessness that had stayed with her for as long as she can remember overpowered her adrenaline-charged run of actions. She halted and stared transfixed at the fox galloping towards her covering hundreds of meters with each jump. The ground trembled with each jump. She knew she had a minute at most. _Not like that._ She didn’t want to go out like that. She didn’t want it to end with her giving up. The evil chakra tendrils encroaching upon them were becoming denser and denser. Against the tide of events taking place, images popped up in her head. Of her sensei arguing with her father – “ _I don’t want anything from you_. _Just let me take care of her.”_ He was the leader of the mightiest clan of Konoha, and she was a newly promoted jounin. Her uncle’s face appeared before her, so like her father, and yet so different. He had said his goodbyes with a smile on his face, not carrying an ounce of resentment or even regret. She remembered a yellow-haired boy in funny clothes standing up to and mocking goons twice his size, not backing down even after being thrashed about in a situation he had no business to fight. _I won’t give up!_

She forced her body to obey. The fox was running straight at her. She shoved the pill into her sensei’s mouth and tried to push it using her chakra. The fox crossed another half a mile with a leap. She was not going to make it. The fox roared. Her heart thundered as she threw away the pills and ran away from her team.

“Fight _me,_ you demon-fox!” She shouted as hard as she could manage. She didn’t know what she was doing and still hated how weak her voice sounded. “Here, demon-fox!” The fox followed her and lunged at her.

She screamed as she was thrown to the ground and darkness engulfed her.

* * *

Kurenai let out a heaving breath. _Hinata…_ _What the hell?_

She was carefully monitoring her students’ actions as her chakra wove around their chakra coils. The chakra had blended seamlessly allowing her to effortlessly manipulate their body’s hormonal and chemical response, and granting her control over their direct perception.

Hokage-sama had commanded her in no uncertain terms that she needed to pass this particular set of students for genin. She, of course, understood the reasoning behind it. She could be counted as both fortunate and unfortunate, on getting genins from such influential clans, depending on the way you looked at it. She did, however, decided to test her team. She knew that this set would at least be an upgrade over last year’s one. They were a bunch of delusional kids expecting to be the next jounin while ignoring the basic facets of the ninja life taught at the academy. They had all jumped at the first opportunity to run. If it was unfair to them that this team would pass by default, well, tough luck; it wasn’t. They would most probably get to live longer and have a happier life.

Either way, life did not avow to bright ideas like fairness or justice which fill the minds with lunatic illusions. It is rigged the moment one is conceived. Most of the crucial life events are determined then and there. From the beliefs bestowed by parents and held by the ninja village, to access to exclusive jutsus providing an invaluably distinct advantage, to one’s general influence in the village depending upon the clan, to even the limit on one’s Taijutsu, Genjutsu and Ninjutsu skills. Most of the precious ninja skills one can acquire are already predetermined and there is not much a ninja could do to work past these constraints. Of course, there are exceptions, but it would be foolish for a hidden ninja village to count on such exceptions.

Her new students were lying on the dusty ground sprawled out as if they all had suddenly fallen to the ground. Akamaru wouldn’t stop barking at her, no matter how much she had tried to explain, so in the end, she had to put him to sleep. There was no way she was going to use genjutsu on an animal again. She still had flashes from that terrifying ordeal.

She observed her ripe wannabe ninjas undergoing her test. She believed the best tests were the ones where the candidates weren’t aware of the test. Her being a Genjutsu mistress played right into the design of such a test. The presence of her chakra within their nervous system provided her with unrestricted access into her team’s mind.

Kiba, from the Inuzuka clan, was as wild as she expected, exhibiting all of their faux bravado and brash enthusiasm. That was always nice to have in a team. If not too irksome, he would keep the morale up, and supply the team with an energy that was bound to prove invaluable in tiring missions. He was a little slow on the uptake though. Facing everything head on with impulsive actions, never once accommodating the full picture. Patience would be a bigger virtue to him than to anyone in her team. From the get-go, he was out of his element like you’d expect any typical genin to be. She could feel his bewilderment at first, and then shock, and then his anxiety. It was what he did then that interested her. He fumbled. He cried. Akamaru, the one his mind conjured, barked out an alarm of the 9-tails coming again. She found that curious. He tried to wake up his team. He didn’t back down against the fox. Ninjas were supposed to be smart – he wasn’t. Ninjas were supposed to be brave – he was. He passed.

Shino, the heir to the Aburame clan, was also similar to most aburames you’d find in that she couldn’t tell much at a glance. He was usually calm and collected, both prized commodities to any ninja. Waking up in her genjutsu though, to her fabricated reality, cracked his usual calm and aloof demeanor. He checked the bodies for signs of life and bugs crawled from within his sleeves to her body. She recoiled at seeing her body littered with bugs. He stopped and looked around. “Kai!” he shouted. It didn’t break her genjutsu. He tried a few more times and then sat calmly near his teammate’s bodies. _Impressive!_ She didn’t think even the most experienced genin would be able to break through her genjutsu. He knows he was within her genjutsu. He passed with flying colors, though she wanted to see what he’d have done.

That brought her to Hinata, her sweet Hinata… She hated to do this to her, but it was far too important to prepare her for the life that awaited her. Her heels were still too soft. They’d need to lose their tenderness if she wanted to walk on the road they walked. And if she needed to take the hard road, then so be it. She watched with trepidation as Hinata’s eyes opened and she let out a moan. _This is just the beginning, Hinata. This is the life you signed up for._ She had to force herself not to look away as Hinata examined the bodies and tried to wake them up. She felt the emotions Hinata was feeling. She wanted to hold Hinata close to her. She was just so gentle and innocent. She was surprised when she saw her keep the presence of mind to examine her surroundings using byakugan and remember about the emergency pills in their medicine kit. Watching with bated breath, she saw her freeze at the sight of the 9-tailed-fox, she felt her losing hope and admitting defeat, but was further shocked to feel her sudden determination and see her display the courage to move and try to lure the fox away from her team. _Hinata…_

She had to take a moment to compose herself. Everyone was such an accomplished actor. You could expect them to keep their act up under most circumstances. But only when you smack them out of their comfort, can you judge them truly. It is only then that your eyes can see all the colors that make up that person. She considered the genins lying in front of her. She had always been enthralled by the working of the human mind, and her genins certainly hadn’t been a disappointment in that regard. She was pleased with their performances but seeing Hinata’s had shaken her. For the first time, she felt that Hinata, who was plagued by a severe case of the most debilitating of human diseases – self-doubt and insecurity, could become a powerful ninja. She always felt that she was a good judge of character, but she never would have bet on Hinata, who cowered in front of her 8-year-old sister, to stand up to the 9-tails. She wanted to hug her and scold her incessantly for trying to risk her life for her team’s sake, but this was what was most vaunted within Konoha’s ninja ranks. She once again questioned her capability to become her sensei.

She sighed and released the genjutsu. Shino stirred, sat up, took a long breath, and turned his attention to her. “Why did you do that, Sensei?” he asked, looking at her searchingly. The others rose up with a start, letting out screams and barks, and expletives in case of Kiba and perhaps Akamaru too.

“Watch your language, Inuzuka,” she warned half-heartedly. He was surprised as he turned his face sharply.

“Woah, Sensei! Hinata-chan! You are alright!” He jumped and whooped.

“Watch it,” Shino said, keeping him at arms-length. “I am unharmed too if you are interested.”

“Yeah, yeah, I am! But, the fox!” he exclaimed. “What happened?!”

“She used her genjutsu on us, to what end, I do not know,” Shino explained.

“Sensei! Y-you… Why would you do t-that?” Hinata’s voice was timid, but it expressed how betrayed she felt.

Kurenai sighed. “All the new academy recruits have to undergo another test, on the prerogative of the Jounin, to check if they are suitable to be a genin of Konoha. In my test, I put my team under a genjutsu and make them face a potential ninja mission mishap. I am pleased to say that you performed admirably under the circumstance. Congratulations.” _You are now in for a hard life._

There was a mixture of incomprehension and bewilderment on their faces.

Shino just nodded. Kiba had finally decided how he felt, “I thought we were already genins, but,” he pumped his fists, “I am a genin now!” he shouted happily, feeling the same emotion he had just days before.

“S-sensei, you… you… That was horrible.” Hinata said at last.

Kurenai felt the pangs of guilt that she knew she shouldn’t feel. “Hinata, that was just an illusion. The ninja life is hard and sometimes downright terrible, filled with moments far more trying than this. Here, at least, it was only your team that was in trouble. In reality, Kyubi had attacked all of the village, and many ninjas more capable than you and I had to give up their lives to stop it.” She looked to each of them, knowing that each of their clans had lost people dear to them in that attack, just like she had.

“If you want to survive as a ninja, if you want to become an asset to your village and clan, if you want to honor the people who sacrificed their lives for us to grow up and live in peace, you need to toughen up. You will need to become strong, much stronger than you are now. You will primarily be a tracking team, but you’ll need to learn many things – infiltration, espionage, war tactics, politics, how to handle yourself in our rival ninja villages, how to handle clients, and what to do when your mission goes haywire. It’s my job to ensure that you are ready, but it’s your job to ensure you give it your all. There is no place for hesitation, softness, or leniency in the life of a ninja. Are you ready for that life? Are you willing to face the demon-fox if it attacked again? Are you willing to give up your present life and dedicate it your village?”

She already knew their answers. But the genins needed to hear their answers to these questions. Every ninja faces these questions at one time or another, or repeatedly. The answer and the emotion that came with that answer had the possibility to shape their life for the better and will make all the difference when the time came to face the truth.

Shino was already prepared, she knew. His disinterest in the ordinary and his focus on the ninja aspects spoke volumes to his mindset. “I am,” he said simply.

At the same time, Kiba declared, “Let that fox attack again. I will show it who has the sharper fangs!” Akamaru barked. “Oh yeah. We will show it!” he pumped his fist in the air.

All of them looked towards Hinata. All of the euphoria of passing the academy had left her face, and Kurenai could see her struggle. She didn’t want any of this. She wasn’t made up for this. “I w-will t-try my hard… my hardest,” she managed knowing what lay in store for her if she didn’t.

“You could sound more convincing, you know,” Kiba said.

“That’s enough, Kiba. You have no right to mock her. She has outperformed you both in the academy, and in my test,” she said fixing him with a hard look.

He looked away abashed. “Anyway, I am pleased to have the three of you in my team. I can see our team becoming one of Konoha’s prime squads.” She glanced at each of them, pleased to see the looks on their faces.

“We will begin training tomorrow. The test gave me a good measure of your mental fortitude and intelligence,” she said, becoming amused at the smile spreading on Kiba’s face. “But I still have very little idea of your physical skills. We will also start taking missions from tomorrow, so I expect you here by 10 in the morning.”

All three genins had eager looks on their faces, even Hinata. From the position of the sun in the sky, she knew it was 1 hour past noon. The newly ordained genins were lost in their own world, and none of them appeared to have anything to say. “So, who’s up for some food? I know a nice little barbecue joint near the main gate,” she asked.

That brought out an eager response from Kiba, while the other two nodded along.

Five minutes later, they were taking the long route as Kurenai pointed out the training grounds, guard sentinels, and the hidden ninja outposts – the ones they were allowed to know. She explained the traps which lay (the ones she was allowed to tell them) for anyone foolish enough to infiltrate Konoha, and the role every ninja played in ensuring the security of the village. Her team listened attentively.

Kiba rushed ahead with Akamaru when she was finished, as the rest ambled along quietly. Kurenai decided she liked this. She could see herself following the path of her sensei. _I could get used to this,_ she thought. She liked these moments of peace and quiet, which had been rare and far between, but now looked to adorn her daily schedule. Her foreseeable future of training her rookie team and preparing them for the ninja life appeared quite pleasant to her.

“Aargh!” Kiba had dropped backward on his back as the ground in front of him blew up. Kurenai reacted instantly. She pushed Shino and Hinata into the surrounding foliage and bounced backward. Kiba was screaming as smoke covered him. The intensity of the explosion and the smoke that was covering Kiba displayed the signs of a smoke bomb. She was surprised she hadn’t sensed the attack. She searched for the attacker and found him coming towards them, hopping from the branches that spread over the unpaved road from the wayside trees. Her mouth went dry and she clenched her fists.

“Watch where you are going, Kiba! You could have run into someone important, dattebayo! Like the future Hokage!” He laughed obnoxiously. “Oh hey, Shino! And umm… Mina…No! Hinata! Yes! Umm, why are you both sitting in the bushes?” he asked dropping in front of them.

“Evidently because of you,” Shino said getting on his feet, dusting his sea-green jacket and straightening his upturned collar. Hinata, who was starting to get back on her feet, again dropped to the ground as her hands gave in.

“Evi-what?” the brat asked before he was pushed to the ground by a growling Kiba.

“You idiot! I thought you were the Kyubi! I could have killed you!!” he shouted in anger throwing punches at him, while Akamaru barked. Kurenai’s heart lurched.

The little monster stared agape at Kiba. “K-kyubi? I am not –”

“I know, idiot!” Kiba said throwing another punch, which the boy evaded.

Kurenai forced herself to make a move. “Kiba! Leave him alone. You aren’t supposed to attack your comrades.” _Especially not him,_ she thought gravely.

“But sensei! Didn’t you see? He started it.”

Kurenai, in fact, hadn’t seen him attack, and she also couldn’t smell the residue of the smoke bomb. “Up!” she commanded. Kiba got up and glared at the brat. “How did you attack him?” she asked the boy still struggling on the ground.

The boy stared at her with wide eyes. “Your eyes!” he exclaimed. Kurenai’s anger grew, but the brat continued before she could respond. “They are so cool! Wait, you are their sensei?! Oh, you are much better than Kakashi sensei, dattebayo! Believe it! He wears a mask covering his face, and even covers one of his eyes. You, on the other… finger?... hand! You look like a proper ninja!”

Kurenai stared at him. She was not expecting that. “Other ninjas will not agree with that statement.”

He had stood up by then, and paid no mind to his soiled clothes. “Have you seen him?! He looks like a… um, what’s the word?... Oh, yeah, a psychopath!” he announced, punching the air, looking proud with himself.

She glanced at her team, who were watching the interaction wearing curious looks. She had met jinchurikis before, more than once, and she had a hard time absorbing this. She had seen him in the academy once or twice but hadn’t been in his presence for long. “Well, many ninja’s are psychopaths. That does not mean he doesn’t command your respect. I don’t want you to ever insult your sensei again, do you understand?”

He looked confused. “But I didn’t insult him.” Then a determined look appeared on his face that looked quite stupid. “I’d never insult my sensei! Believe it!”

 _Was he stupid?_ “You called him a psychopath,” Kurenai said feeling like she was touching a melting pot.

“But you just said many ninjas are psychopaths!”

“Yeah, but you can’t just call someone a psychopath in front of others. It’s offensive.”

“But I didn’t even call him a psychopath! I just said he looked like one,” he pointed out.

She was getting angry. She was a jounin, and she never had a genin spoke to her in such a way. He was just so loud, and the audacity stroked a nerve inside her.

“You can’t…” she stopped. _What am I saying?_ The way one looks didn’t say anything about the person. _Well, except for the way how they chose to present themselves to the world, which might say something about how much they care about the world, or about how they look, or about how much that look factors into the representation of one’s village or clan. Or it might say something about their intelligence, or how they want the world to perceive them. Or they might dress that way due to deeply personal reasons._ She stopped her inner soliloquy. _What am I thinking?!_ She glared at the jinchuriki dressed in hideous orange rags. He certainly had no right to comment on how someone looked.

“Hey! You idiot! Stop annoying our sensei! _”_ Kiba had taken that moment to step in.

“ **YOU** are the **IDIOT**!” shouted the annoyed jinchuriki.

“Sensei, can I punch him, please?”

“No! I told you not to fight your own comrades. And you…” she said to the jinchuriki. “I never want to hear you complaining about your sensei. Is that clear?”

“But, I –”

“I don’t want to hear anything else from you. One word. Is that clear?” she said again, her voice sounding like a warning.

He was silent for a while. “No,” he said in a growl that ran a chill down her spine. Before she could register the word, he had pushed Kiba back and was breaking away from them.

He looked towards them once more and shouted. “You better watch it dog! You are lucky that Akamaru is so cute! He won’t always be there to protect you.”

“That Naruto! Which idiot decided to pass him from the academy? I am so gonna beat his ass,” Kiba said angrily.

He looked abashed when Kurenai narrowed her eyes at him. The rustling of the leaves added to the uncomfortable silence.

“So that’s why he never pranked me. My kikaichu are way cuter than him,” Shino said finally, pointing at Akamaru.

Kiba stared at him incredulously, while Akamaru made a squealing sound, which made Hinata make one too, and made her drop to her knees to pet him.

“What in the world? That’s just so wrong, even for you. How can you say that?” Kiba asked.

“You have stated multiple times in the academy that Inuzuka dogs are menacing, not cute. Are you reverting back from that statement?”

“N–Y–No, I am not. Akamaru is both cute and menacing, aren’t you, pup?”

Akamaru was busy snuggling with Hinata and pointedly ignored him. “Anyway, which way to the restaurant, sensei?”

Kurenai, who was still in thought, didn’t have any appetite left. “You guys should go there together today. I just remembered an urgent task that I have to do. I promise I will accompany you tomorrow. My treat.”

She shot forward without waiting for their reply.

Kiba’s stomach growled. He asked his teammates, “Do we know the directions?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. Cheers! I hope you get to read the next chapter soon :)


End file.
